I really don’t know why I am here in this place. In fact I have questioned God multiple times as to why. No answers come and I suppose in some ways that is an answer in it’s self. So I wait…. I guess I title this phase of my life and ministry as a “Be Still and Know” phase.
I thought surely that I would be able to find a place to serve in ministry and pretty much continue as I had been. I guess that’s not God’s way. To continue as we have been probably means that we we are not changing, growing, learning? I don’t know but…. It still feels a lot like being benched in the 4th quarter (Did I use that sports analogy right?) .
I know that God is working and is still on the throne and with me, He has a lot to do I suppose. I know that at times my heart is not in the right frame and as a friend once said… “The right posture towards the things of God”. He’s still working on me.
I long to be in the ministry using the gifts, talents and resources in service to the Lord. In due time God will open that door…..Or?
Maybe this time it will look different. Maybe He wants to use me in a way that I had not considered because I was so locked into what I know. I must admit that it scares me some to think that way. Good for the ole pump I suppose, lol. I’ve just been trying to keep my eyes open for opportunities to serve sort of like looking both ways before crossing the street. Stepping out and in of situations where there are opportunities to minister and serve. Humbling? Very much so. Refreshing? sure! Scary and unsure? Absolutely!
I continue and the story is not over. God is still writing chapters for my life and I am trying not to look too far ahead. My desire is to walk in step with Him, following, maybe even along side as good friends do but not ahead. I am certain that I give the Father a good chuckle from time to time. Not that I am all that important but just that He must grin when I try to make plans that exclude Him.
I digress and so I will close.